Adoption and Babies

Months ago, I called with the Down syndrome adoption program in Cincinnati. I had a phone consult with the wonderful lady that coordinates the program. I asked for the initial paperwork to be mailed to us. I prayed. I waited. The papers came, but Jason said he did not believe adoption was the route we should take. I still have the papers and am just not sure what to do with them at this point. There are over 200 families on a waiting list to adopt a baby with Down syndrome in the US. I would love to be on that list for so many different reasons. I checked into having a home study done, did my research, and was so ready to move forward. But it is not my decision to make alone. And I know it would truly require a miracle to make it happen financially. I found out there are many grants to apply for (including Steven Curtis Chapman's grant), but it is very competitive. I also found out that sometimes agencies will reduce or waive some fees for adoptions involving a child with Down syndrome or other "special needs." But that is not guaranteed.

Jason is hopeful that we may be able to conceive again. I almost hesitate to say this, as only a few people know, but we have been trying to conceive since the month after Gabby's passing. We are on our 5th month. We have been on fertility medications for 3 of those months. The month after losing our child was not an "ideal" time to start trying. It has been extremely draining, emotionally. But we knew that we were likely going to again face many months, if not years, of trying. I am not far from 34 and know that in reproductive terms, that is getting "up there" in age, especially with my history. We will soon begin our 6th month of trying. We have ZERO insurance coverage for any diagnostic procedures, treatments, or medications for infertility. Insurance companies will pay for abortions, but they will not pay for infertility in many states. I have a lot to say about that, but I better not get started on it or I'll just raise my blood pressure. I have checked into grants for infertility treatments, but most of them require the couple to have no living children. The one that didn't required a $50+ membership fee just to APPLY for the grant. And it was made clear that preference would be given to couples with no children.

Please pray for us, as we try to be hopeful for a new child and grieve for the one no longer here with us - all at the same time. And please pray for my health, as I try to lose the 20 lbs I've gained with each baby and the 20 more gained from fertility medication.