One year already

I can't believe it has been a year since Gabby left us to be in Heaven. On the 20th, we visited her grave and put some Christmas flowers there. As I stood on her grave and put my hand on my very pregnant tummy, I thought of what a bittersweet moment it was. Lincoln would probably not be on his way if not for Gabby's passing. I don't have to tell you what wide range of emotions that thought brings forth.

Today I received a note from an online "friend" on a message board. It read:

"Hi, I just wanted to say that I was thinking of you as 11/20 came and went. I am so, so sorry for your loss. We had a cardiology appointment on Thursday and because of your little Gabby, I went in there prepared with a long list of questions that I never would have known to ask if it weren't for you and Gabby. I asked about pulmonary hypertension and the severity of it in Maddy's case. I asked about a heart cath and whether we could have one. I am much more educated from reading your posts. I have also learned that the Down syndrome is so small, so insignificant, in the grand scheme because I know you would give anything to have Gabby (and her Ds) back. I look back on my posts from when we first found out that Maddy was coming with T21 and I am shocked that I ever thought the Ds diagnosis would change my love for her. Reading your posts makes me cherish what I have. Your baby girl is up in heaven helping us, even those she never knew, and I am forever grateful to Gabby. She has done a great service to us and many others on the board. Tonight I will give Maddy an extra hug and whisper in her ear "that one is for Gabby". Thank you for everything. Angela and Maddy"


It is notes like this one that help to keep me sharing Gabby's story despite the difficult emotions it causes me to face. If her story makes even a tiny bit of a difference, it is worth going through the pain of telling it over and over and even being ridiculed for it.


An update on Mr. Lincoln....

I had an OB appt. last week. I am due for another ultrasound to check fluid levels and everything else, but I'll have to wait until after Thanksgiving due to scheduling. I am measuring 2 weeks ahead, so I think Lincoln is still larger than average. His heart rate was high at my appt. (over 190), but I think he was just agitated from the nurse chasing him with the doppler. He was kicking a lot. His heart rate finally dropped to 160, and he seemed to calm down.