Baby Lincoln Update and More

I will be 33 weeks along on Friday. Yesterday, I had an ultrasound and doctor appt. Lincoln is estimated to weigh 4 lbs. and 12 oz. My huge baby belly is measuring 36.5 weeks. My fluid level was a little lower than last time, but it is still okay (YAY!). Little Mr. Lincoln is totally breech. Technically, he still has time to turn and get into the head-down position. But since I have SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction...a separated pelvis), he is less likely to turn. I DO NOT want another c-section, but if Lincoln doesn't turn, there will be no alternative. The doctors will not attempt to turn a baby after the mother has had a c-section, especially a recent c-section.

My back/pelvic issues are worsening as Lincoln grows. By yesterday afternoon, I could not walk. My cane just wasn't helping. It's funny how much we take walking for granted until we can't do it. For a couple of months now, my mobility has been very limited. When that issue is added to needing to take care of a house and 2 children with some minor special needs, it's not a pretty picture. I cannot take the pain medicine that would help my back. While the girls are in school and that does help, I still have tutus to make and have to manage to take care of myself. Just getting to the bathroom is a challenge. Every step I take comes with pain - sometimes enough pain that I get tears in my eyes and feel nauseated. Most of the time, I can push through it. But sometimes my back just won't cooperate. When the girls are home, it is much harder. I daydream about having a housekeeper and someone to help with the girls. Ahhhhh...it's a nice dream.

The girls are going through a lot, and we're really struggling with trying to get them the help they need. We're not sure if Olivia's issues are due to concerns over having another baby in the home and worrying about losing him too or if she has something else wrong. I could write pages and pages about all the problems the girls are having, but instead I will just say that every day is extremely challenging. It's a continual struggle to get them the testing and treatment they need. I feel like I am pushing my head against a brick wall because of problems with insurance and other things. Lately, I've been realizing that Gabby's death affected them more than I thought. McKenna's anxiety is escalating, and I am doing everything I can to help her. I am worried about her physical health as well. She often goes from bouncing off the walls to being lethargic and saying, "I'm tired" over and over. She seems to shut down and we don't always know why. Tomorrow we're taking both girls to Louisville to a pediatric cardiologist. Due to some symptoms Olivia had as an infant and the chance of the girls having a congenital heart issue (because Gabby did and several other family members too), Gabby's cardiologist once recommended that we have both girls evaluated. I will not take them to Gabby's cardiologist in Lexington, for personal reasons, so we're heading to Louisville. When I spoke with the nurse there and told her about Gabby and our other family history of congenital heart defects, she said both girls will be having an echocardiogram. I hope this will simply be a precautionary measure that will result in a perfect cardiac report for both girls. The girls are naturally a little anxious about the appt. because of what Gabby went through. They went to some of Gabby's appointments and saw her having EKGs and echos. I cannot help but worry about how they might associate a trip to the cardiologist with a negative outcome. I have been using my best child development skills (thank you, college!) to find the necessary psychological approach to help ease their fears about their appointment. Please pray for my girls. They need lots and lots of prayers. And Jason and I need lots of prayers to help us parent them in a way that is best for them. I know their special needs are not major, but they are enough to affect every aspect of life for our entire family - a family that is grieving and dealing with a lot of other major life problems.