Almost 38 weeks and a little concerned.

Yesterday's appointment showed no cervical changes. I'm still 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Lincoln's head could be felt during the exam, so he is still head-down. Yay! But the doc said it is harder for a baby to drop and STAY dropped when a woman has had multiple children. My pelvic separation issues also interfere. All we can do is wait. I continue to deal with the pelvic and tailbone pain, but I keep telling myself that ALL of this is worth it and is nothing compared to things I've been through before. A little pain and immobility is really nothing in the grand scheme of things.

The girls are getting VERY excited about meeting their baby brother. There have been a few comments made by them recently about death in relation to babies (to be expected I guess), so I am watching them closely and trying to keep their well-being at the top of my list of things to consider. Last night, Olivia was looking through Lincoln's freshly washed clothes in his dresser. She was holding things up and saying, "Oh, how cute, Mommy! Lincoln will look so cute in this!" She was squealing with delight and just genuinely excited. While that really made my heart smile, it also brought a bit of fear to the surface. I am SO afraid to treat this situation like a "typical" situation. I am afraid to let my girls (or myself) get attached. Things happen, after all. But I know God is taking care of us. I just have to remind myself to trust Him.

Before my exam yesterday, the nurse checked Lincoln's heart rate with the doppler. It was near 200. This is the 2nd time that has happened. Lincoln was NOT moving and actually hadn't really moved all morning, so the high rate was not due to activity. The nurse listened for a long time and the heart rate finally dropped (at least temporarily) to 170 something. She made the comment that, "He has calmed down now." But since he was never moving, I don't really think the drop in the rate had anything to do with him being agitated. I talked to my doc today and found out she was not aware of this issue. She said, "It is a little concerning." She wants me to return tomorrow for monitoring (non-stress test) to see if the heart rate issue is a continual thing. Obviously, ANY concern about the heart causes me to worry, but I know this is probably nothing. Please pray that tomorrow's test shows all is well.